It was the Diwali day. Everything for the day was planned. I was supposed to spend the night in my Local Guardians house. I was invited to have my share of enjoyment in bursting crackers, and then counsel my cousins (younger to me) because of the obvious fact that I bear an IIT tag; believe me, I am adept at doing the latter thing (It all comes with experience). The accessories being many- get my clothes washed, get some great food and so on.
It all began well. I reached Guindy railway station in some 20 minutes. A 10-minute train journey from there, followed by a 2 min walk, I would be at the doorsteps of " enjoyment". I took the tickets and was going onto the platform. I had only a rupee in my pocket, and I was very much aware of it. I denied it from going into beggars' possession who made many unsuccessful attempts to get it from a certain me, who was stubborn at that moment. I've decided to use that insignificant rupee coin, to know my weight, and I was proud that I didn’t waste it. The moment came. I saw a weighing machine in front of me, put my bag down, removed my chappal so as to avoid any possible perturbations in my weight due to the presence of extra stuff (except clothes), and stepped up onto the machine. I delivered the rupee coin in; it went in and nothing came out. The only rupee coin I had was lost and lost forever. . Then started the moments of regret. I looked at one of the beggars and the smile on his face when he received 50Ps from somebody else. I was ashamed of myself for my act of wasting the rupee, which neither benefitted me, nor the beggar.

All these thoughts disappeared from my mind as soon as the train came. I was thinking of the future to come and mentally preparing myself for the lecture session, a hithopadesa to my cousins which will be dramatized in such a wonderful manner that, if you are an alien to my counseling (to be read as cock putting) abilities and happen to listen to one such session, you will write JEE again and pass it. My cousins are very much immune to scenes like this and they do their part in the drama (listening and posing as if they are impressed), well. Everything is forgotten, and I’m forgiven afterwards.
The train halted and I was back to my business (a very tough task) of finding a non-ladies compartment and getting into it. It always happened that whichever compartment could accommodate me was a ladies compartment. A normal compartment in Chennai local train is always crowded. This makes the task of getting a place in non-ladies compartment all the more difficult. I managed to get some place in some vendors’ coupe, atlast.

The train started, and so started a song just beside me. A small girl started singing standard 'train' songs. Her sister, barely 2 feet above the ground, went to each passenger and begged for money. When this little girl approached a gentleman in shots, he immediately started a conversation with his neighbour about the pathetic situation of such girls in particular and beggars in general. The gentleman introduced as his neighbour, is of a diametrically opposite view. He feels that begging is a way in which the laziest of people are assured of their livelihood.
An interesting debate triggered. The girl had to wait for her rupee, which I doubted if she would ever get. The debate got hot and suddenly the song stopped. Reason: the girl singing the song was hit by a man, who felt that the song was a disturbance to the passengers in train. The girl looked helplessly at him, and at others expecting a possible support. The debate went on as if nothing happened. The little girl near the gentlemen was signaled to come back.

The train halted at St.Thomas Mount. Girls were asked to get down. The elder one of the two received one more shot. I wanted to stop him and say that he didn’t have any right to touch her, and under article 14 of the indian constitution he is liable to punishment (child harassment.) But, I needed support. ‘It takes guts to retaliate’-I realized my friend Shantanu’s statement. If somebody started a revolt, I could take over. The girl was obviously unaware of her rights and looked around helplessly again, with anger on her face. No response from anybody. Even from those gentlemen who had very strong convictions apparently. The girls were shown the way out. They got down from that compartment and got into some other compartment. Our man wasn’t satisfied even then. He wanted them out of the train. There wasn't much that he could do then as the train started.

The next five minutes passed as if nothing happened. Then came Palavanthangal, my destination and also the man’s. Our man went to the next compartment, caught the elder girl's ponytail and started one more kind of torture. I stood there, and seriously wanted to stop him. But, motivation couldn't overcome inertia even this time. Train started and went with the girl in it. Man went home as I did.

Nobody was sensitive to the girl’s feelings. Even if they were, they were too lazy to revolt as I was. At the end of it one fact remains obvious: " We are all very good at debating on social issues and addressing the concerns of the speechless and the downtrodden in the form of giving speeches on insignificant occasions. But when it comes to real situations, we are too lazy (to be read as- don't care as it doesn't involve me) to deliver, for it requires something far greater than the jugglery of vocabulary in which we are all good at"

" The GRE season has come and I'm back to blogging, after a blogging sanyas of around 4 months "
Immediately comes the response "So what?" Speechless, I was for the next few minutes. How hostlie can he be? Silence surrounded our space and time coordinates. When will I reach the Himalaya (Giga mess in IITM) ? I want to keep silent, which probably may be sending signals of the boiling blood in me to him. This guy doesnot seem know how to behave socially. Why shouldn't he say the next word? Why should I be the initiator always? Let me keep silent. He doesnot deserve to be previlaged of enjoying my conversation. But then, some feeling of guilt somewhere deep. Let me be social, atleast. " How was your D-Slot today? ", I continue. 'He is a dunce who speaks about acads before lunch'. What would " dunce" mean? But two things are clear: a) he is scolding me, b)he is trying to show off his GRE skills infront of an innocent chap. Why did he prefer to walk along with me? May be because of the latter reason. So, Jimmy... Prepare yourself to hear more of latin (an understandable english.)Now I decide to keep my mouth shut, come what might. Two more minutes of silence. Then, he starts:' This time the freshies are a bunch of dolts daa...' Dolt?? Anyway I would better hide my ignorance than let it out before an egoistic person. Hope I got the sense right.Why did freshies come into the discussion now? The answer is before my eyes. Somewhere in the woods of IITM, my companion points out a freshie, and one thing is sure : he is going to call him now. After the freshie night ? Anyway, there's no rule that one should stop paining the freshies after freshie night. 'Oye freshie ...' An unexpected interruption to that freshie, heading towards his destination with full of concentration; probably analogus to the hypothetical situation where a bird had shitted on Arjuna's right eye when he tried to shoot an arrow into its eye.
'Put intro', "My name is 'blah blah'. The funda is, my seniors asked me.........My branch is mechanical engineering, dual degree. My rank is 978. My hometown is Vizag. My native place is Vijaywada. My hostel is... " My height is, my weight is", I add. My neighbour takes a hint and says "How asinine can he be?" " What is asinine, anna?", dares the freshie. "It's you asshole . Just stop being bloody smart." ' Okay ,' with his eyebrows raised as if the freshie beside him is a fool and he's tired of educating him, ' are you virile or effeminate?' Freshie obviously doesnot understand anything happening there. So is my state. Then, I see heaven infront of my eyes: my hostel. 'Ciau dude. This is my hostel. I'll take my lunch later. You carry on.' "Okayee bbye"... Do I believe my ears ? ha atlast, atleast a nice farewell.
Without any further delay, I run to my senior, one more of the GRE kind, to take him through the conversation that I've had with my companion. My senior asks " Is your companion taking GRE?" . "I think so. But preferred to keep silent on that issue as he wasn't letting me discuss any issue that I initiate"
He bursts into laughter and after a 15 minutes of continuous loss of energy in the form of laughter radiation and its after effects, he says " O my dear bulber. That guy must have mugged the semantic field of the word 'stupid' from Barons yesterday. He was trying to brush it up with you guys."
Out of curiosity I go back, take my dictionary and find out the meanings of 'dunce', 'dolt', 'asinine' . All mean the same; a stupid, a moron.
In the evening I find the freshie going to hockey practice, NSO, whence I ask him to list out the new vocabulary he remebers from his interactive session with my companion after I left the centre stage.
"Anna, I dont remeber all, but later I found that all of them were the synonyms of the word 'stupid'. Two of them being 'fatuous', 'inane' and one more... something like vacuuuum...". Bubbling with fresh knowledge about the word 'stupid', I take the hint and complete it 'vacuous'. " Yes anna. It's vacuous. Are you also preparing for GRE?"

"`Young' party to contest Assembly elections"-The Hindu dated march 3rd, 2006. This young party, called 'LokParitran' has been launched by a few IITians. There's a lot of debate going on in our hostel whether the IITians who established the party borrowed the idea from a movie or whether the director of the movie has borrowed it from those IITians. Needless to mention, the movie is Yuva. Whatever be it, it may take some of you to surprise if I now claim that it has been my idea for quite a long time. Long- atleast longer than the two things mentioned ,have taken place. If you ask me to prove it I can't. Simply believe me ...thats all. Anyway let me tell you my ideas about this.
Along with some of the like minded friends of mine I'll go to each and every village in AP - to start with -because thats the state to which I belong. I'll address their problems and possible solutions to them, become very close to them and it eventually happens that they themselves force me into politics and so along with my team, I float a new party called the APPP (Andhra Pradesh Peoples Party.) It shouldn't take more than 10 years to do this. Having done this, there's a lot of possibility of my party securing a good number of seats in the AP assembly. Thus a base has been established in AP. Now, with the help of my like minded friends in other states I'll try to establish a base in other states even. This shouldnot take more than 5 years. By then , my party would have gained the respect of the people all over India. Then, all the state units of my party contest in national elections, under the name NPP-National Peoples Party. From then on, an entry into my party requires people to take an entrance test, followed by an interview.This is how I make sure that my party adheres to its moral values. With such a ground work done I see no reason why my party would not win. Then I shall not be the the PM of the country. I'll be the Railway Minister as I've many plans for the upliftment of Indian Railways. I shall not list them all in this speech . Read my party's manifesto then. Indian Railways shall be made much better than those in other countries ;I promise you. Then, ofcourse a second term and a third term and a fourth term and it goes on. No question of anti-incumbency factor, as this will be a selfless, corruptionless, development oriented party and thats what people like to have. I shall then retire from active politics, thus paving way for the younger generation to take over.
Then.... a slow muffling sound of a door knock, intensity of which was slowly increasing... Suddenly , the background changed, the audience listening to me disappeared and disappeared forever. Where's the mike, where are the newspaper reporters who asked me about my future plans?With a lot of effort, I got up from my bed and opened the door, only to find a fat little pod standing before me and asking, " Jimmy! What's the D-Slot portion." It took two minutes to me to realise that , that fat little pod was Taru, my classmate.

I Have a Doubt. What is a Doubt?

" Don't feel shy to clarify your queries. If you have any, donot hesitate to ask them." I haven't seen a professor (any damn lecturer in IITM is referred to as a professor by the students, for reasons the readers have to interpret) in IITM who hasn't told this to his students in some form or the other.

The B- Slot prof says 'alloy solidification', the name of a topic and nothing else; and people have a couple of 'Doubts' about it. Then he continues with the principle behind it-suddenly,I see a series of glittering faces,each with all the 32 teeth out- whence MSB 208 looks like a room where auditions for Close Up advertisement are taking place. The reason for this enlightment in the 'Young Genious' of the country is that they have heard of a similar concept in E-Slot a few days before and they recognise that they have heard of it. And as expected by you now, not by me then , a 'doubt' springs up: "Sir! Is this the same as the 'zone refining ' method that we have done in our E-Slot." Tone used in asking this so called doubt-needless to mention-"Don't worry. I knew about this since my childhood and how I pity my classmates that they donot know of this." If both the methods are the same how can they be named in two different ways. Moreover, the names of the topics suggest that one is a phenomena and the other one, a method. The prof answers saying ,"Not exactly..mmm...we use this principle in that method."The guy is quite happy about the prof's answer and his face is filled with subtle pride as his 'doubt' was well attended which indeed is a confirmation that his 'doubt' is a 'good' one. He achieved something.
One more example: Mr X asks Mr Y something about which he's almost sure that Mr Y wouldnot be able to answer, just because MrY didnot read the book that Mr X had, very rare of its kind. Wonder of wonders,Mr X has a feeling of satisfaction iff Mr Y doesnot answer him.Incase he does , Mr Y turns the arch rival of Mr X.

A person sincerely attends all the E-Slot classes, sits in the first bench, takes notes. Before the exam he comes to his friend's room on pretext of doubts,almost certain that he is better of the two. Incase of a flawless explanation for the 'doubt' by his friend, he would rule out his friend from becoming better of the two, by atleast saying that his way of explanation is somehow not very catchy.

One more guy, fanciful of using the word 'pedantic' in particular, and demonstrating his skills of 'english' in general creates some 'doubts' and asks the profs. Worst of all, he involves the entire class in his doubts. He is the self appointed representative of the class and by and large feels his 'doubts' are the 'doubts' of the entire class.

Just to make his presence felt , a guy asks 'doubts'. Just to make people believe that he is interested in something, a guy asks 'doubts'.

'Good doubts may yeild good grades. So keep on asking doubts, as repeated number of trials remove the noise (silliness) from the doubts .' This is Mr Z's logic. In an institute like IIT, though this is literally impossible with qualified teachers all around , there may be a meagre probability of this happening in labs. Some smart guys like Mr Z do try and exploit it. The whole point that they miss is what I call an 'efficiency factor'.

Until the incidents like these have taken place, I thought ,a person asks doubts if the instructor speaks something ambiguously or if he didn't understand what's being taught or if some concept as told by the instructor was understood but still unclear. I also thought that there should be an element of thought involved before asking doubts. But after all these incidents I've a doubt: What exactly is a doubt?If at all I were asked for an advice by any lexicographer, upon review of his dictionary, I would ask him to consider all these while defining the word "Doubt"
PS:No doubts on this topic shall be encouraged.

It was friday morning. Normally I wake up very late on friday mornings, for fridays are holidays for people in meta level (what I mean is the people in meta branch). But this is a very special friday; not only for me, but for the entire bunch of people sharing the common meta level interests with me. I woke up at 7.OOAM and for a moment thought of the devil about to approach me in about one hour from then-that was the E-SLOT quiz ;and shall I name it? EXTRACTIVE METALLURGY. I knew something was going to happen. Superstitions donot direct my intutions but clearly statistics do. Never had I managed to do well on any important occasion. Poor performance in exams became a habit to me. I had a notion since my Ramaih days, that I was the best among people. Though it had been consistantly proved wrong , I never had the courage to accept it. Whenever my performances and scores were poor ,the occasions being more in number, I used to remind myself of the good scores that i got and thus console myself that still I remain the best.

The JEE results did shatter my convictions. For a while I thought whether I was worse than Tom,Dick and Harry who got better ranks. Worst of all, my public image was affected. A bit history about this public image. I was one of the very few chaps who made it into Ramaiah, literally countable on fingers, from my place. So, obviously people had a very good opinion about me. Moreover, a senior of mine, who is one of my kind(who got into ramaih from my place), set a precedent,a very bad one -I realised later, by getting a rank in two digits in JEE. So, there were lots of hopes on me,all of which were shattered by a simple rank card reading " Your JEE rank is 2057."

Later I got a reason for my poor performance in JEE. I attributed it to public pressure.Seemed logical then. I thought of proving myself after coming to IITM and as expected I've given up. Quizzes seemed no longer interesting. My feelings about myself changed. I thought, there is nothing to prove in me. Worse, during the first and second semesters I did courses with the computer science students . What else better reason can one have for giving up.
Things began to change from my third semester onwards. People started asking me doubts and praised me if I clarified them. I was in a state of complete confusion.When I thought,I was the best,I was proved wrong by the society,when I thought I wasn't , I was asked to rediscover myself again by the same society. Is this not obfuscating?I mean, the concept.
Having thought all about this,I looked into my watch. My God!! It was 5 to 8 and E-slot exam in five minutes. I still had to brush my teeth.

PS: All characters (numbering one) in the above post are fictitious. I wanted to start this post with "it was a friday morning," because great writers generally start with "it was a saturday morning" and obviously had to create some idea to continue it.